Just about every day, important family discussions and medical decisions are 'waiting in the wings,' needing to be addressed. Or at least, when you are seriously ill or providing care for an ill loved one, it sure can seem that way.

No matter what your illness or its phase, it can feel like you are being asked to figure out a multitude of answers to questions you've never even considered before - questions you may not have the necessary knowledge or tools to address. For instance, you might be newly diagnosed and trying to discern possible treatment options. Or perhaps you are the caregiver of an ill loved one, and you are trying to facilitate an important family discussion on an end-of-life matter. Either way, as you've probably discovered, making consistently good health care decisions, along with facilitating a diplomatic family conversation, can be a challenge, at best.

Frequently, choices are presented by health care professionals, with prompt answers expected from you - or from other family members. Sometimes it feels as if you don't have enough information or time to decide on the best course of action. Should it be this next treatment? Or something else? Don't forget about your Living Will. And the Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care. What about home care? Meals-on-wheels? Volunteer Chore Ministry? Hospice?

Who knows?

Family discussions around issues of illness and treatment can be fraught with tension, anxiety, and conflict. Should I take a leave of absence from my job during treatment? Or work part-time? Should family members take turns providing care? Who should drive to doctors' appointments, radiation, or chemotherapy? Should we continue giving Mom food and water (nutrition and hydration)? When should we start hospice? What would Dad have wanted? Can we discuss what is really important?

Who knows?

The goal of this section is not to provide 'buttoned up' answers to all the preceding questions, but to craft a sort of 'Life-Care-During-Illness Road Map,' whereby each person and family can have at least the rubrics of information necessary to guide them through some of the many health care decisions and essential family discussions that arise during the course of a serious illness. Hopefully, this information will help to guide you towards healthy discussions and solid decisions, as well as towards relationship healing and overall wellness in family life.

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Next page: Chapter 6: Living Will and Power of Attorney: What makes sense?